Ever look back on life and thank God for the memories, lessons, and blind blessings that seemed (or seem) so unfair, and even devastating in your past, (or maybe even happening now)?… Well, today is one of those days reflecting on 30+ years of my life. One of my favorite songs is “Blessings” from the singer and songwriter, Laura Story. Some of you may know these words, but her chorus is something that has consistently reminded me to think outside of my selfish thoughts…
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if the thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?
Laura Story
See, I spent many years asking God “why me”… Why the abuse? Why foster care? Why all the chaos? Living a life of self pity and seeking love and validation from wherever else I could find it. Why, why, why??… When in all reality, asking “why” gets us nowhere, but down a bottomless hole filled with darkness. So, I always refer back to this song when those thoughts start overpowering my mind to remind me who God truly is. Our Bible study this particular week discussed the GOODNESS of God. Because that is one of His many perfect characteristics. And if you have not ever read Jen Wilkins’ book “In His Image“, I’d HIGHLY encourage it… It truly is phenomenal and I’d love to hear your opinion on it as well.
But, in this study we learn who Christ truly is amongst all his many attributes. And we see that even though WE may think <insert “life” event> is or is not good for us, HE KNOWS BETTER!! When growing a true relationship with Christ we find out what our true “purpose” is. We stop “working for salvation”, because I assure you this is a FREE GIFT (that will further be a post of it’s own), and we learn to ask God how we can glorify Him in these treacherous, painful and sometimes debilitating moments. We learn that God’s will for us is simply to be more like Christ. To be good, gracious, patient, faithful, truthful, loving, and forgiving to one another. To be merciful and just to those who hurt us, just as Jesus was to those who betrayed, ridiculed, and crucified Him. To be hopeful for our eternity in Heaven.
We have to ask ourselves, “How can I be more like Jesus in those situations?”… Asking how I can help others by sharing mine/His story? How can I glorify God through this?? Because, I can assure you, the ONLY reason I am here is because of Him. Lord knows high school itself should’ve did me in. This picture though, represents a story of embracing my past and looking towards the future. I get asked all the time about my angel tattoo… And I truly love looking at it and seeing the daily reminder of the self bondage and sadness I put myself in for decades friends, decades!!! I look at it and smile. Now knowing that I have the choice every single day to never go back to there.
Yes, me!! 
It’s MY choice to react or to respond. It’s my choice to seek God first, and when I don’t because I’m human and full of flaws, it’s my choice to repent and get back on track. Its my choice to stand up for what’s right for myself and for anyone else who is being wronged. It’s my choice to set aside the shame, embarrassment, and head full of lies we tell ourselves daily to try to justify our actions. It’s my choice to let Him break away those chains.
And the amazing part about this is that you have the same choices to make too… to keep living in bondage, pain and fear of what tomorrow will bring; or to seek and trust that God, as our first choice, will provide the peace, comfort and joy that He readily promises to us throughout His Word. 💖
